Trans Day of Visibility 2024!

Around 2015, or when I was about 13 or 14, I was on a bus with the friend who introduced me to the existence of trans people, as they were trans themselves (unsure of their pronouns as of current).

On that bus ride home, they told me about how some trans people go through medical transition, such as hrt and surgery. And that sometimes they need that care to survive.

I felt myself get incredibly excited about the fact that such a thing was possible. I wanted it the second I heard it.

That feeling was instantly followed by shame and dread.

I walked home from the bus stop screaming at myself in my head. That I was a freak for wanting something like that, that I'd be more of a freak for doing it. That there must have been something incredibly wrong with me for wanting that.

I got home and cried. I locked myself in a room to cry, I looked in the mirror, said it to myself again, and cried harder.

I don't hear about this experience from others in my generation much, and honestly, that's relieving. I'm happy that not everyone had an experience like that, not everyone had a gut twisting reaction to trans medical care while figuring themselves out. I know that I can't be the only one though.

Today, I look at myself and my body of mixed sex characteristics, and I'm proud. I've slowly learned to love what I will become and what I have become. I'm not a freak, but if I am, then so be it. I'm proud either way.

This has required the help of the people I surround myself with and the trans community as a whole. It's taken a lot of time, but it's beautiful in a way. How the love and care of others can help heal wounds you never knew you had before.

That said, happy trans day of visibility. Our bodies and minds are wonderful, even if it takes a while to remove all the shit that says they're not. Thank you, all of you, for being visible and helping others to realize that!

This was originally posted on my Tumblr blog known as AntiTERF