I Can Hear You

I can hear you

You may not realize it, but I do

I can hear every comment you make about my life while you don't even know it's about me

I hear you talk about how the concept of my existence is dumb

I hear about how you don't want education on the matter

I hear how you think I'm less

I hear how you think I'm unimportant

I hear how you decided that my struggles don't matter

I hear your jokes

I hear your gossip

I hear you claim that hate speech is covered by the first amendment

I hear this in a place that encourages acceptance while I'm trying to get the worksheet in front of me done

But I can't

Because your words are stabbing me from the other side of the room

I can hear about how you think I'm so alien that you must think that there's no one around to hurt

But I am

I can't come up and talk you about it

That'll make You uncomfortable

That'll make the Teacher uncomfortable

That's me overreacting to make You feel bad about Nothing

So I'll just listen

I'll listen without a sound

Note

This was originally written on January 17th, 2019. I remember writing this about a specific conversation I overheard in math class. The students having it were in the same sociology class I was taking, and were talking about how it was silly that we were covering transgender people. It was along the lines of everyone knowing about us but no one cares. I was out to those kids, I don't know if they were aware I was in the same class or even thought about the fact I am, but as I mentioned in the poem, I would be seen as making a big deal out of nothing.

If anything, I can look at this and see how I've grown. As of today, I would have said something. I would get up or weigh in from my seat. I would ask them why they felt this way, and get more understanding why while offering evidence from my life or lives of others. Even if it did make everyone else uncomfortable, who cares? Not me, not anymore. I've gotten rid of the want to not be that trans person.